(c)тырено

Ирландские тосты
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let"s all get drunk, and go to heaven!

Когда мы пьем -- мы пьянеем
Когда мы пьянеем -- мы засыпаем
Когда мы засыпаем -- мы не грешим
Когда мы не грешим -- мы попадаем на небеса
Так давайте же выпьем, чтобы попасть на небеса!
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Here"s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer-and another one!

Этот тост за длинную жизнь да за веселую
За быструю смерть да за легкую
За хорошенькую девушку да за любимую
За кружку холодного пива да еще за одну
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May those who love us love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.

Пусть те кто нас любит -- любят.
А тем кто не любит нас,
Пусть бог развернет сердца.
Ну а если он не сможет этого сделать
То пусть он развернет им колени
Чтобы мы смогли узнать их по их хромоте.
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May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven half an hour before
the devil knows you're dead.

Пусть твой стакан будет всегда полон.
Пусть крыша над тобой никогда не обрушится
И дай бог чтобы ты был на небесах за полчаса
До того как дьявол узнает о твоей смерти.
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Dance as if no one were watching,
Sing as if no one were listening,
And live every day as if it were your last.

Танцуй даже если никто не смотрит,
Пой даже если никто не слушает
И каждый день своей жизни живи будто он последний.
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May the saddest day of your future be no worse
Than the happiest day of your past.

Пусть самый грустный день твоего будущего
Будет не хуже самого счастливого дня твоего прошлого.

 

17 марта - день святого Патрика 

перевод тоже не мой, помидорами не швыряться %)

тоже натырено с просторов сети

Things To Say When Stressed At Work

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.
16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all people are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done..
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.